I "GOT THIS"! REMEMBER THAT ISH?!

when i met with the ics today, i checked my email and i found a reply to when i sent the lady who's in charge of the apartments that i'm applying to in boston. she told me that she needed the application, i thought zen sent her an application but i sent her one anyway today. so HOPEFULLY this gets me closer. i think back to a conversation that i had with my friend crystal's mom and she was encouraging me not to listen to what anyone else says because it's MY life. then i said, "well people talk.." and she reassured me by saying, "there are so many other people in this world. NO ONE cares what you do but YOU." so i don't really understand exactly WHY my own mom and sister seem to act so concerned with what I do. the only answer i have to that is: MISERY LOVES COMPANY. THEY did NOT bust their asses off in school (TWO of my years in high school i attended in an ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR) and THEY did NOT graduate with HONORS (they also did NOT drive their electric wheelchairs up the podium on graduation day to accept their diplomas). they also did NOT go onto work their asses off in rehabilitation so they could live independently. i never thought my OWN fuckin family would be so unencouraging and selfish of my goals. this is MY life. do you think that MAYBE you should focus on your OWN lives before trying to drag me down to your level? just fuckin mind your own business. when and if i call my mom during emergencies- she always acts like it's the end of the world and blows shit outta proportion. YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANYTHING OUTTA ACTING LIKE YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME. tell me- did you care this much about me when i used to go to your place when you lived in the apartment that grandpa owned and you'd leave me at your place alone when i was in a wheelchair and you'd always wanna go out to the bar to play pool or screw around with your little boyfriend carlos? and it got to the point where grandma came into town to sit with me a few times when my mom was too damn selfish to sit with her own daughter.. but now that i actually have things going for me- i'm expected to downgrade my potential and ability JUST for my mom who only gave a shit about me when it's convenient for HER?! nonono. kiss my ass. it's not like i got pregnant at 12 and dropped outta school- never to return. sound FAMILIAR, amy?! worry about your OTHER fucking daughter who obviously needs more help than i do- with all of her damn kids. i'm a g. i always find a way to get outta shit. i've been surviving since i was 16.. so at least 23 years. stop acting like you actually fucking care just because i seem to be the only child of yours who really cares about you because one day, i might just stop altogether because i'm tired of this shit. if you anuses don't stop and realize that you're fucking wasting your time.. i am just gonna stop dealing with you altogether. that's probably amanda's goal- SO WHY THE FUCK CAN'T ANY OF YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN?!